Love, Beth

Wow. It has been a while to say the least. Where did the time go? Oh, wait. As of a few weeks ago, time has completely stopped. Somehow tho, the sun keeps coming up. How does that happen? I try not to cry, but sometimes the tears just fall. People are afraid to ask if I am okay because the obvious answer is no. NO. NO. Definitely NOT OKAY. Today a sweet friend sent me a poem and another one brought dinner and many good friends send love on a daily basis, but something was different today. I felt my mom stronger today than I have since that day at the burial when she sent fire ants to eat my ankles because I refused to sit on the front row and stare at her pine box while our family pastor told me I would heal. Eventually.

Mom is talking loud ... and Daddy she misses you so deeply....

Love, Beth

I stand by your bed at night, I'm sorry that you weep
I speak to you softly, "I'm here, I haven't left you. I'm in your heart to keep"

I'm close to you in the mornings, in the stillness of the dawn
We sit together as we always have, I assure I'm not gone

I am with you at my grave, you tend it with such care
I want to reassure you I'm sitting next to you, not lying under there

You are so tired in your days, everything seems so hard
It deeply saddens me that you are forever scarred

But, please grieve me and then dry your eyes
I will always be near you, just as the sun is set to rise

Please remember that I am with you everyday
I can say to you with certainty, "I never went away"

And when the time is right for you to cross over to the other side
I will rush to you and meet you and for eternity we'll be tied

Heaven is for real, so much for you to see
But, for now be patient, live your journey, then come home and be with me

Rest in peace my beautiful mommy. You are so very missed...
~SOS~

PINK UNICORN

Okay, so I said I wouldn't do it, but I did. I joined the MOMS CLUB.  I know, I know, but I thought maybe I could meet some friends. I haven't gone to a meeting or anything yet, but I have met a few of them out around town.

So, yesterday I received an email about donating childrens clothes to an orphanage. As I am gathering clothes, Punks is following me around asking "me watch mini mouse in mama's bed" after about the 35th time of telling her no I told her she would sit in time out if she asked again. So, for the next hour she sat in time out again and again and again. She would ask and then sit in time out. repeat. repeat. repeat. Between time outs and asking for mini mouse she was also asking to donate her pink unicorn to the babies. I told her while that was thoughtful, we were just donating clothes this time. She insisted. I said no. she asked again and again and again.  I felt like I was in groundhog day.

okay, all the clothes in a bag. ready for pick up. whew.

fast forward a few hours

"mama, me need pink ewww-ni"

umm, okay where did you put it?
"I dunno" okaaayyyyy......
for the next few minutes we looked everywhere and then it dawned on me....

"punks. did you give pink ewww-ni to the babies?"
"YEP" she announced proudly

awesome.

now, I have to get on the phone and call a woman I have spent about 30 seconds with and tell her while we were happy to donate, we are actually going to need the pink unicorn back.  I am really sorry. so, can I drop over in oh, say 10 minutes?

I tuck Punks into bed with pink ewww-ni that night and she says, "mama, me no wanna watch mini mouse in mama's bed. me go nigh night now"

um, yes please
~SOS~