TIARAS, TUTUS AND TANTRUMS, OH MY

When our daughter was born my husband gave her the name pumpkin. Maybe because she was born in the fall, but definitely not because she looked like a pumpkin. She was neither round or orange. Over time as her personality developed she grew into the name "punks" because well, she is a straight up punk (ass), but she is also very much a girly girl. This plays out to be an interesting combination.  Punks wears her pink tutu whenever it is clean and sometimes when it is not if she can find it in the laundry, follows me around with nail polish until I paint her toes and can't rub enough lotion on herself  and her always naked bebeh doll she totes around everywhere. she is always sporting multiple smells at the same time.  Still even when punks is all dolled up, she always manages to find some mud to roll around in.

Punks is almost two and two year-olds have this reputation for being defiant and obnoxious, a reputation that I am quickly learning is completely justified. At almost two, she is also considered a toddler, except she doesn't toddle, she sprints. Punks has two speeds: fast and off.

So, all of that said, getting dressed in the morning, or anytime for that matter is a challenge.  Sometimes, if we are home all day I just leave her in her pajamas. Yes, I do. I don't always have the energy.

This morning we picked from not one or two but three outfits and then after she had tried each of them on she was still not satisfied and wanted to pick out a fourth and then a fifth. No, I am not exaggerating, I wish I was. Sometimes they match, most of the time they don't, but who cares as long as she puts something on without throwing herself on the floor while kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs.  right? This morning I had to walk away with my patience hanging by a thread and when she came to our room, she was naked again, dragging me back for yet another outfit.  No, you can't wear your tutu today, it is covered in dirt from the playground. No, you can't wear your winter coat. Yes, it is pretty, but it is 75 degrees outside. Okay, if you would like to wear your jean skirt and pink top with black and orange leggings and blue and pink polka dot socks go right ahead. No shoes? WHATEVER! happy? thank god!

running time 20 minutes...

Oh wait, there is more.  Now we have to put in the pigtails. Then, she would like to wear every bracelet and necklace she owns and of course clip on earrings, can't forget the earrings. Her jewels are of course scattered around the house because of our dress up session yesterday. It is great when you wake up in the night to use the restroom and step on a piece of her bulky, sharp, dress up jewelry.  When she is satisfied she checks herself out in the mirror. Oh, a purse! "MAMAMA, PURSSSSEEEEEE". We find one that works with the outfit. Mirror check again.  beautiful.  Now, one last thing, we have to brush the teeth, loves to brush her teeth. whew. mission accomplished and mama even gets kisses and hugs on the way out the door.

running time 40 minutes...  40 minutes!?!?! she is a not even two year old non-toddling toddler.  god help us.