NAYME GAYMES

I have a friend, lets call her K. She and I are so much alike it is really eerie.  We can talk on the phone for hours and hours about EVERYTHING. When we lived in the same city we talked on the barstool side by side for hours. You think I am exaggerating. I am not. She has been my sidekick for many years now. She is the one I call when I have done something questionable or said something unfiltered (I know, shocking) because she will always understand, most likely laugh- even if I get an "oh, yikes" first-, relate and then attempt to justify my words and/or actions.

The other day we were laughing remembering about her string of men.  There was trainer guy, pink shirt guy, Ohio guy, to name a few. I will not list any of the sexual names we have for her men. That would be inappropriate. I am sure you can use your imagination. None of them have actual names though. They never do unless she becomes serious with them which is rare.  The name thing also spills over to the friends we share. Let me say, if you are not super close to us and sometimes even if you are, you have a name other than your own. Whether it is angel face, booty, crazy chick or something else that describes you, you have one.

My kids have multiple names too. Each family member has their own special name for my kids.  I am not even sure how this came about. As far as I can remember it was my sister and my husband who each gave my eldest her own special name and it went from there.  Each girl has about 3 variations of their actual name. Then add Punks, Pumpkin, Doodle Bug, Diva, Boogie, Angel, Pea among a few others and it is questionable if they will grow up confused as to what their name actually is. My oldest daughter named her little sister "bebe" and it stuck. seriously. I sometimes catch myself asking her to please "be nice to bebe".

So when I was at the playstation a few days ago, as the little people were running circles around me, I started thinking about the whole name game. There are so many unique names out there now, not pet names or nicknames, but actual names on a birth certificate. Some of them borderline strange if you ask me, but what does my opinion matter anyway? They are out there and I can't help but wonder, as parents, have we become too obsessed with original baby names?  It has become a non-spoken competition.  You meet a new mom and ask what her child's name is. There is a pause in conversation. She is waiting for you to say, "oh, I like that name" or "wow, what a great name".  So, you say it as an automatic response.  Just the way you say "nice to meet you" when you meet your husband's business associates for the first time when your really thinking, "ohhh, I heard about you, your the one who..."

So, how did all of this come about?  Why did a generation whose parents named them Nicole, James, Brooke and Matt decided their babies would go by Suri, Pax, Zola, Blossom and Liberty?  Names that used to be common such as Allison, Caitlin, Madeline, Amelia and Katie are now spelled Allyson, Kaitlyn, Madalyn, Emilia and Cady.  When did Connor drop a 'n' and Jackson become Jaxon?

Harley used to be a motorcycle not a little boy in the sand box.  Paris was once a destination not a snotty, spoiled heiress. Apple was a computer and Noah had an Ark, not the new scooter who plays with his friend named Scooter.

A few feet away I noticed August, Spring and April come in from Sommer's birthday party.  They were talking about how hot it was already for June.  August announced she wanted to have a pool party too for her birthday in a few months.

And then in poured the Taylor, Harper, Scott and Dillon families who are all very close. Charlee and Dylan Taylor who are both girls, play with Taylor Harper and Harper Dillon not to be confused with Charlie Dillon who is a boy and plays with Scott Harper and Dillon Scott.

I learned from one gossip-y mom that Bliss, Joy and Harmony will have to find new playmates soon. Turns out their parents' divorce is almost final and they will be moving away. 

And what will happen when Keegen, Teegen, Deegen and Meegen all end up in the same classroom at school? Or worse when Kiley, Kyleigh, Kylee and Kylie all end up in the same classroom? I feel sorry for that poor teacher.

Hope, Faith and Grace attend church every Sunday, duh, where they meet up with their friends Basil, Honey and Chi.  Last week they thought it clever to bring treats. So, they brought Chi Tea with basil and honey to sip on while they learn about Jesus and their destiny which is not the same as the little boy, Jesus or the little girl, Destiny whom are both in their class at school.

Would a child be confused with a name like Dakota when they are from Alabama or Brooklyn when they are from North Dakota? Would they be teased if they were named Georgia from Georgia or is that acceptable? Are Austin and Dallas cool as long as they were from Texas.

No lie, I actually met a Waffle the other day and it was not on my plate at the Pancake House.

I could go on, but you get my point.

Everything, even names have become a competition. Has life always been that way, or have I just become wise to it as I have gotten older? I saw a post on fb from L last night. I love when people get all poetic on fb.

A wise friend made a great point yesterday. What if everyone in the world looked exactly the same and the only thing to differentiate us was our personalities? Everyone would work very hard to have a great personality and the world would be a more peaceful place! Now i'm not saying I don't like to work on my looks too. I just said a friend made a great point.

My initial thought was 'huh, would you have to wear a name tag your whole life? hopefully your parents named you well'... 'what if we all had the same name?' 

oy veh
~SOS~

PINK UNICORN

Okay, so I said I wouldn't do it, but I did. I joined the MOMS CLUB.  I know, I know, but I thought maybe I could meet some friends. I haven't gone to a meeting or anything yet, but I have met a few of them out around town.

So, yesterday I received an email about donating childrens clothes to an orphanage. As I am gathering clothes, Punks is following me around asking "me watch mini mouse in mama's bed" after about the 35th time of telling her no I told her she would sit in time out if she asked again. So, for the next hour she sat in time out again and again and again. She would ask and then sit in time out. repeat. repeat. repeat. Between time outs and asking for mini mouse she was also asking to donate her pink unicorn to the babies. I told her while that was thoughtful, we were just donating clothes this time. She insisted. I said no. she asked again and again and again.  I felt like I was in groundhog day.

okay, all the clothes in a bag. ready for pick up. whew.

fast forward a few hours

"mama, me need pink ewww-ni"

umm, okay where did you put it?
"I dunno" okaaayyyyy......
for the next few minutes we looked everywhere and then it dawned on me....

"punks. did you give pink ewww-ni to the babies?"
"YEP" she announced proudly

awesome.

now, I have to get on the phone and call a woman I have spent about 30 seconds with and tell her while we were happy to donate, we are actually going to need the pink unicorn back.  I am really sorry. so, can I drop over in oh, say 10 minutes?

I tuck Punks into bed with pink ewww-ni that night and she says, "mama, me no wanna watch mini mouse in mama's bed. me go nigh night now"

um, yes please
~SOS~