TEXAS GIRL

TO ALL MY HOUSTONIANS OUT THERE

Although I don't live there anymore and probably never will again, I still feel a great love for the city where I grew up. We get to spend Christmas there this year with my whole famn damily. Here are some of my favorite things:



Go Texan Day and Superbowl Sunday are holidays

The TEXAS flag as big as your house flies everywhere you look

There was nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff's deputy who wore a white pompadour toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allowed televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seemed unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screamed, "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, EYE-witness news" into a television camera every night

Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south

We know how to pronounce Whataburger correctly

The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex

Every high school boy has a giant truck

In the fall EVERYONE plans their day around the high school football game

Soft drinks are not called soda, cola, or pop. just COKE. no mater what brand or flavor they are.
"Grab me a coke"
"Ok, what kind?"

Galveston is a beach

When the TEXAS vs. A&M football game comes on the whole town is divided

The Aggie Bonfire myth is really true. No, it really is.

"Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person

All old ladies with big hair in pink Cadillacs have total right-of-way

We know where to park at the Galleria

Parking spots are decided by shade, not distance

The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect

Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment

We can pronounce Kuykendahl Road

We actually know who Sam Houston is

While saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has

When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes; you know he just stepped in a fire ant bed

We turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees

There are two seasons: Summer and Christmas

AND THE BEST PART ABOUT THE CITY...
THE HAPPY, FRIENDLY PEOPLE WHO OCCUPY IT