"NOOOO MAMA, NOOOO"

All I hear lately from my toddler is "noooo mama, noooo" and let me just start off by saying my husband seems to think this is because all I do is tell her no.

Lets recap:
"MAMA!!" as she is jumping up and down on the dog facing backwards so she can pull his tail.
"mama, this?"  as she grabs my iPhone and runs towards the toilet.
"mama, MINE!" as she sticks her fingers in my chapstick and smears it all over herself.
"mama, yummm" as she eats her shoe. (really?)

Perhaps I do tell her no a lot, but what am I supposed to say, "good job honey!" ? I try to explain why, but she is off to the next stunt and I am left talking to myself.

My sister seems to have some great, logical answers for me, but then I am left to wonder how she knows so much while I know so little. Clearly she got hold of a genetic manual that was not made available to me. Did I mention she is 24?

Sometimes I feel like I am in mourning for the child that was in my womb. When I was pregnant I had beautiful visions about this perfect little angel who was well behaved because I, of course cracked the whip and she ever so willingly obeyed. Where is the well behaved, calm, eager to please child I so clearly envisioned? Clearly I was hallucinating. My husband and I are the furthest thing from calm, go with the grain sort of people.

The good news is, she is perfect, just not the way I envisioned, but is anything ever the way you picture it to be? My toddler is happy and crazy and full of energy, she is outgoing, independent, curious and is so eager to soak up the world around her.  (I am sure your kids are wonderful too) All of this also means she is defiant and pushes and pushes and pushes just to see how far she can push and when it leads to her getting in trouble, she wants to hug and kiss and make up, but only for the split second she knows you are actually angry. Then she simply wiggles out of your arms and is off running again. Take 2, or 5 or on some days, take 945.

So, I start to read about this "no" thing she is doing and read things like "when your child's favorite word is 'no' and her default position is defiant, just relax" and "Be calm, maybe sometimes she gets to play with her toys a little longer when you are ready for her to pick them up". Clearly this was either written by a man or a woman with incredible patience. Strike 2. I am missing the genetic manual my sister has and come to find out the patience gene.

All of this becomes a bit overwhelming as I think that daughter number 2 is going to grace us with her presence on October 18th. We know this is the day because I am being induced which is how I did it with my first. Gotta love California doctors.  I am very ready to have this baby as I truly hate being pregnant. Crap. Strike 3. Women baffle me when they walk around acting like it is so wonderful to be pregnant. What is so wonderful? Gaining weight, swelling, constipation (tmi?)? Or is it the part where you can't hardly breathe or maybe the fact that you have to pee every 15 minutes? What in the hell is so great about all of that? In any case lets get this show on the road. I am ready for number 2 and this time I don't have any expectations.